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"There's always rainbows after rain..." w4m Well...what started out to be a pretty crappy day ended up pretty nice :) I didn't mind curling up by the fire all winter but it's time to get out and live a little. You know what I'm sayin lol I thought I met that special someone but life happened and it just didn't work out so I'm back out here again --- lookin for something that apparently is really tough to find and that kinda sucks. You -- be real, be cool, be a little bored maybe like me right now so you thought you would give this a shot, be smart, be funny, be nice looking but not perfect, be employed with a place to live and to bring someone over once in awhile for a glass of wine, a movie, a beer, be adventurous, be romantic, be respectful and not married or attached...be all that I'm hoping and more. You know who you are. Me -- I'm real, I'm cool, I'm a little bored right now and don't feel like hitting every bar in Philly looking for you that's not my thing, I'm smart, I'm sassy, I'm funny, I'm pretty good lookin still lol but not perfect, I'm employed and holding it all together. I have a busy life and a beautiful family but I'm missin.....you :) How's that? Be brave send a pic --- I will know you right away. Keep it clean...I'm a classy chick and don't be a smart ass or you will get it right back cause I said I was sassy right?? :-)

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sick of Showering Alone With Vodka Martini's So I was in the shower this morning, having a vodka martini while washing my hair, and I thought "wouldn't it be great if I had a girl to do this for me?" I mean wash my hair, not drink the martini... I can do that myself... So after heading outside and kicking some homeless men so I could steal their change cups for cash, I popped into a and ordered a non-fat soy chai latte, then had the barista stir it with her tongue. You didn't know did that? Well you've probably never asked. Try it next time. I sat down and fired up my laptop, first browsing a couple porn sites to see if my sister was getting any work... then opened up and started to write. So by this point of my profile, you probably want to shoot me in the kneecap with a small girly handgun... Let me give you some more ammunition... * While surfing in Africa last winter, I lied to my friend about which beaches had shark sightings then went to the worst one. I smeared his board with fish guts. Once he was attacked, I pulled him from the water... I'm a goddamn ! * I've never stolen a car without returning it with a full tank of gas, two tickets to a hockey game, and a gently used handgun in the trunk. Juuuuuust kidding.. who can afford hockey tickets these days? Come to think of it, who can afford gas? * I know the difference between a fine kilo of pure Columbian yay, and a shopping bag full of icing sugar, so don't try and double cross me like my first wives. * Everyone hates mimes... but not me. I respect someone who knows when to shut the fuck up. If we all did that, there'd be less . Then again, if there was less , would start making more about teens trying to lose their virginity before college. I lost mine in grade 8 to my parent's chubby Greek cleaning lady... how come no one makes a movie about that? * My agent thinks I'm an asshole. Partially because I never pay her, partially because I keep getting her name wrong. I'm bad with names. If we sleep together, and I wake up and you , , or -Jo, don't be offended. I have the same problem with numbers, so if you wonder why I don't . it's cause some nice family in the 'burbs is getting non-stop booty s at 2am in your place. * Dont worry about that though, as I never sleep with the same girl twice. You wouldnt ask to paint another copy of the , would you? * I get mistaken for Cruise everywhere I go. Not Cruise the actor, Cruise the assistant pottery teacher at Langley Highschool (go RiverRats!) Now, since guys online dating all seem to like to tell YOU what YOU should be like (don't you love that?), I'll do the same. * Don't be blonde. Im bored of blondes in this town (like any of you are really blonde anyway... pfft... Grow some self-confidence and go back to your natural colour.) Sure blondes have more fun... but brunettes try harder, and I respect a woman who puts some effort in, and blondes just have it too easy. * I don't care where you live. I have a car. I like driving. Have some ice cream and pie waiting for me and I'll drive to Yahaa Junction (well... it'd have to be homemade pie if you live in Yehaa Junction.) * Id prefer if you ARE married or have a boyfriend.. Look... Im not going to sit around picking out new cutlery from a catalogue with you, or help you walk your tiny little dog. You should have a steady boyfriend or husband for that. Im like a roller coaster, fun to ride by yourself (or preferably with your best friend!). but terrible for trying to have a dinner party on! Well... thats it for me. Smell ya later... PS. If Ive piqued your curiosity, you should know that its Ok for you to me. I wont tell your friends, family, , or that youve been browsing Craigslists personals... and dont you want to know if I just talk the talk, or walk the walk? PPS. Please include a of yourself, preferably in a dress, but failing that, underwear. And failing that, track pants and a dirty t-shirt always work. PPPS, Both my parole officer and my therapist have given me the thumbs up to date since "the bank incident"

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